CVGames Launches Punchender Campaign to Stop Monkey 10K Console
We here at CVGames love and treasure the gaming industry. When new video game consoles get announced, we get excited and provide detailed coverage to share all the fun tidbits of information that is available. Sony fans are looking forward to the PlayStation 4, while Android users wait in anticipation for the OUYA and the GameStick. As if we don't already have enough consoles to choose from, Monkey Enterprises has once again emerged from the shadows, looking to dominate the living room market. However, we draw the line when we see unethical actions taking place that threaten our integrity as gamers, and the Monkey 10K Virtual Reality console is a prime example of this detestable act of shame.
When Monkey Enterprises released the details of their new console, it initially appeared to have the most innovative design. As it runs without electricity and does not contain a CPU/GPU chip, it significantly cut down on manufacturing costs. The result of this technology has allowed the console manufacturer to announce an impressively low MSRP of $69.99.
Unfortunately, this is where the bad news begins. It has recently been confirmed by Monkey Enterprises that the console's hardware consists of abducted leprechauns who are forcibly crammed into the casing. As a writer, and lover of little people, I do not support this. My employer, CVGames, and the rest of our staff, is equally against this as well. This is inhumane, cruel, and harmful to our trusted standards of interactive entertainment. As such, we are launching a campaign against Monkey Enterprises to stop them from producing these prison cells disguised as video game consoles. To do so, we will be using the Internet service Punchender--where people around the world can donate to our cause. If we reach $20,130,401 within a year, our campaign will have the necessary funds to stop this madness and send a message to the entire industry that unethical actions of any kind will never be tolerated.
On a side note if anybody was wondering, I am still in prison. Our benevolent Editor & Publisher, Kaleb Rutherford, who we call boss on our hands and knees, has visited my cell and convinced me to establish this campaign. Since all I've been doing is eating nourishing meals and repeatedly reviewing Hooters Road Trip (which never gets published to the website for some reason), this charitable campaign provides the variety of work I've been yearning for. Mr. Rutherford has possibly promised me that he might think about considering in attending my next parole hearing if the Punchender campaign succeeds, so please donate what you can. Think about those poor leprechauns... Think about me!
Please donate to our campaign by going to Punchender through this link.
Monkey Enterprises is the company behind the Farmer Monkey Virtual Reality series (also known as FMVR). Founded by CVGames staff member Farmer Monkey, Monkey Enterprises provides absurd products designed to entertain families and de-sanitise their homes across the globe. At the time of this posting, Monkey Enterprises does not have a website, but the founder has kindly posted the details of the Monkey 3000 Virtual Reality Console back in May of 2002. Link to Monkey 3000 Virtual Reality Console .
CVGames is the supplier of nourishing computer and video game meals to feed the gaming desires of people around the world. Kaleb Rutherford is the founder and lead duck washer who punishes any lazy staff member by forcing them to review the game, Hooters Road Trip regardless of how old the game is and how many times it has already been reviewed on CVGames.